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Friday, February 08, 2008

A Truly Biblical Re-Wording Of The So-called “Defense Of Marriage Act”

To any Christian Conservitive Right-Wing Republican whom it may concern:

I have found the Defense Of Marriage Act quite incomplete in supporting true Biblical marriage. Therefore, as I would like to help you all to define marriage in the most Biblically proper way the Defense of Biblical Marriage Act ( previously known as the Defense Of Marriage Act), I propose that it shall hereafter read as follows:

Marriage in the United States shall consist of a union between one man and one or more women (Gen. 29:17-28; II Sam. 3:2-5).

Marriage must not impede a man's right to take concubines in addition to his wife or wives. (II Sam. 5:13; I Kings 11:3; II Chron. 11:21)

In order to be considered valid, a marriage the bride must be a virgin. If she is not a virgin, she must be executed. (Deut. 22:13-21)

Marriage of a believer and a non-believer is unlawful and will be prohibited. . (Gen. 24:3; Num. 25:1-9; Ezra 9:12; Neh. 10:30)

Given that Biblical marriage is for life, neither this Constitution nor the constitution of any State, nor any state or federal law, shall be construed to permit divorce. (Deut. 22:19; Mark 10:9)

When a married man dies without children, his brother must marry the widow. If he refuses to marry his brother's widow or deliberately does not give her children, he must pay a fine of one shoe and be otherwise punished in a manner to be determined by law. (Gen. 38:6-10; Deut. 25:5-10)

And there you have it. I’m just trying to do my part for all the CCRwR’s out there…
…you’re welcome.

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