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Sunday, July 18, 2004

Martha Martha MARTHA!
Ok, for the sake of this writing, I am assuming that all of you know the basics of the Martha Stewart case. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, come out of the cave and click here. On with the show.
First off, let me say, I don’t like Martha Stewart. Her recipes are needlessly complicated and overwrought, her decorating “tips” are blasé and unattractive, and, on a personal note, she creeps me out. Having said that, the fact that she has received a sentence of jail time really bothers me. Let me sum it up for you like this. Martha Stewart was sentenced to 5 months in prison and 5 months house arrest (and a fine). Do you know why? Was it because she cheated the FTC? Because of insider trading? Nope. The government couldn’t make a case for any of the above. Stewart (and her broker, Peter Bacanovic) received the above sentence for LYING TO THE GOVERNMENT. Yes, you can get prison time for lying to the government.  What did she lie about? Well, insider trading, right? The only problem there is that LEGALLY the IT never happened. So, she is sentenced to prison for lying to a government official about something that, according to the law, NEVER EVEN HAPPENED.
So remember friends, always tell Johnny Law the truth. Even if it’s none of his business. Because, otherwise, you go to jail. And, apparently, that’s a good thing.

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